Two things this week that made me shake my head in wonder or dismay (I’m not really sure which!).
First, several times this past week I have found the thermostat to the heating/cooling system set to HOLD. I could not figure it out. It had been running on the scheduled program just fine when it is changing itself to the HOLD setting. I finally asked Bill about it Thursday morning. It seems that when he has been coming out at 5:20 a.m. to exercise on the elliptical, he has been hitting the Light button on the thermostat to see whether it is set to air or heat and to see what the temperature is. On cold mornings, if it is still set to air after he hits the Light button, he switches the program to heat. Only thing is, there is NO LIGHT BUTTON! He’s been hitting the hold button. And so some days I find it is on hold on the a/c side, some days on the heat side, depending upon what buttons he hit after the “light” button. Oh my. We’ve had the system for almost a year now. You can tell how many times he has (or hasn’t) monkeyed with it!
Second, on the weekends, Bill and I eat breakfast together. This morning, I doled out the vitamins and then finished up making breakfast. Bill had his usual plate of scrambled eggs with sausage and I had oatmeal. As I sat down to eat, I noticed the Bill had brought his container of vitamins to the table, but left mine on the counter. I said something about, “Don’t I get vitamins too?” His response was, “I didn’t think you wanted to take them at breakfast.” Say what? I always take them at breakfast, taking a few at a time between bites of cereal. They seem to settle better that way in my stomach. If I don’t take them at breakfast, usually I end up not taking them at all. I have been pretty regular in this routine since April … but for some reason, Bill remembered it backwards, thinking I needed to take them at some point in time that was NOT breakfast.
Men! DH and I started working up some honey. DH wanted a potato masher to use like the people on the web were doing. We have NEVER owned a potato masher. He couldn’t believe we didn’t have one. Before that he wanted to know where the bee keeping hat was, only he didn’t call it that. He called it hood with mosquito netting. We’ve NEVER owned a bee keeping hat. His dad might have had one YEARS upon YEARS ago.
I didn’t know you kept bees! Cool! Not so cool on the DH. LOL
Now you know what he needs for Christmas. Find some netting, duct tape it to the top of a bowl or basket or hey, a cardboard box to fit on his head, and box it up with a potato masher from the thrift store.
It’s not just forgetfulness in general, which believe me increases with age and overload situations. The point is being unaware of the woman in your life. Not just a lack of observation of whether you take vitamins with or after breakfast. Even when told directly what is needed, the message doesn’t get through. lol
I taped a photo of the door I wanted onto my office doorway. It sat there for years and years. I pointed it out, I am SURE. When shopping in the stores, I would take him to look at doors. Every year, I complained often of being freezing in there during winters from the drafts. Dh even crawled under there to look at the insulation under the floor, took the outlet covers off to insulate them. We talked about whether a door would help. When we FINALLY put in a door, he SWORE he had never seen the 8×10 magazine clipping that was stuck to the doorway. “Oh, is THAT what you wanted?” I know it was there at least four years.
I honesty cannot say that my dh is not aware of me, the “woman in his life.” There are many small things that he does for me that show how much he cares and how aware he is. But they are selective things, very specific. Things more attuned to his male-thinking brain, I guess you could say. I do not know if I would dare let him order for me at a restaurant, for example, but when it comes to a nice head massage to help with a sinus headache, he’s johnny-on-the-spot.
In your dh’s defense, Soose, a photo taped somewhere becomes so part of the background for me that I would also pass it by for years and years and not be able to tell you what it was a photo of. When it comes to things as specific as a type of door or a particular book, I have learned that I either provide a very detailed list or I just buy it myself!
Okay, let’s get a bet going. I was in a store with my dh a couple of nights ago. They had moccasins on sale, but didn’t have what I wanted. I told him the hand-me-downs from my son are too big, they don’t keep my feet warm, and I trip when wearing them. We discussed my need for moccasins. For many years in the past, I bought the same type of moccasins, when they were worn out. Couldn’t find them one year, haven’t had any for two decades.
What do you think my chances are of getting a pair of moccasins for the holiday? Better than that. What do you think my chances are of getting something I specifically have asked they NOT buy for me because I can’t tolerate any more clutter, want to specify my own requirements for electronics, or am allergic to fragrances?
So you won’t think I am stacking the decks by withholding info, let me say that my flat of pansies, which I ask to be planted each and every October birthday by the front door, are still sitting there freezing on the pavement — unplanted as of Thanksgiving. And the monitor which I specifically said, “No I don’t want it, I’m not sure where I’m going to put it and what size I’ll get,” was gifted and returned at that same October birthday. And my first dh-aided gift from my dear son bought with his own money was a fragrant-perfume-filled bag of “goodies” from an expensive cosmetic store, yes, bought in my dh’s company.
Married 35 years. Gotta laugh, indeed. lol
So what’s your bet?
No bets here! And clothing (or shoes) are definitely not things I would ever expect my dh to buy for me. I did get a lovely necklace once, but that was only because I had a very detailed description of exactly what I wanted and even then, I was very surprised that he bought it. Those just are not things that Bill is comfortable buying on his own. So, no bets here. LOL